I’m sure I did stupid,silly, things when I was younger. As I age though, I’ve noticed that it seems to happen more frequently. In my quest to become more efficient I’ve become just the opposite. Wednesday is garbage eve at our house. That means that usually I haul every bag of trash that we’ve accumulated throughout the week down our long driveway for the garbage men, who arrive at the crack of dawn on Thursday morning. If I leave early I gather up that last bag of trash, toss it in the back of my car to be dropped off on my way out. Last week the inevitable happened. The trash went to my appointment with me to seep and smell in my hot car. Opening the car door several hours later revealed the pungent odor of weeks old leftovers.

Each time I have an incident like this I think about Dementia, Alzheimer’s, and mini stokes. Could this be the first step to the nursing home ?   I think the public is just too educated. We know too much.  A mental lapse in someone young is something to laugh about, in someone older it’s a symptom.

I try to keep things in perspective by remembering the silly things I did when I was younger. The day that I wore sunglasses with one missing lens as I ran merrily around town doing errands.  Or the time I spent the the whole afternoon doing business with an x over one eye. (I had been to the eye doctor and the staff there had placed the x to be certain to work on the correct eye)

Drug companies spend billions of dollars each year to make certain that we know which drug to take for any symptom. They have wonderful commercials.  I find myself watching them as if they are mini- series.  The people are just like us except they are having more fun.  Their families are caring and laugh a lot.  Watching these commercials  enables us to  diagnose our problems and ask for the correct prescription on our trip to the doctor. This prescription becomes one of the four billion written every year.

Every horrible detail of every disease is described in detail on the internet or television. How many times do we sit with our eyes glued to a talk show while a sobbing woman tells of her medical trials. We can’t help but think that every change in our body is a symptom, one that could lead to our demise. Maybe we should stop thinking about being sick and concentrate on being well. Maybe the answer is as simple as enjoying each day, living a healthy life and limiting our media.

I am old.  I’ve finally faced the fact. When I’m asked if I want the senior citizen discount I smile and say yes.  I’m no longer appalled when a good share of my mail turns out to be ads for long-term care and hearing aids.  I’ll even admit my age now and then and not be upset when nobody says , “you don’t look that old!”  I’ve spent a long time thinking about aging and have made some resolutions as to what I will not become as I grow older.

Medical problems will not be discussed with anyone but my doctor.  I won’t talk about medications I have taken or surgeries  that I’ve had.  Neither will I talk about anyone else and their medical problems.  Tests fall into the same category.   Biopsies, x-rays and lab work all will be placed in the back of my conversational  repertoire.  Neither will I spend a lot of time with people who do talk about these things.

I will live and not watch other people do it.  Television programs will be selected carefully.  Unless my city is in line for a blizzard or tornado I will not watch the weather channel.  Watching graphics of cold fronts moving through Buffalo is forbidden unless used as a sleep aid.  Scheduling my life around a favorite program is also forbidden.  Television personalities are not family and it is not necessary to learn about their personal lives.

I’ll do only what I want to  when I want to do it, at least when it involves my life.  I’ll say no more and make my contributions in areas that I really think are important.  Since everyone wants a piece of my life, I’ll make sure that I really want to give those pieces away.

I’ll never loose touch with the world.  Retirement communities may be fine for some but isolation from the world leads to a more limited understanding of that world.  Young people are no different then they’ve ever been.  They are not the enemy .  I need to realize that they are faced with more dangerous choices than other generations.  Most will make the right choices and take over the imperfect world that we have given them.

I’ll get rid of the hairstyle I’ve worn for the last ten years and never wear elastic waisted pants.  Although I probably won’t get a tattoo I will dress as if I belong to this century.  I may be old but I don’t have to look it, or even more importantly, I don’t have to  act it.  I’ll finally have more time to exercise and I’ll do it regularly.  I hope to never say that I’m  “not up”  to something.

I’ll try to do the unexpected.  My children will not always know where I am and what I am doing.  Although I didn’t agree with the elder George Bush’s politics I did admire the way he celebrated his last birthday.  Jumping out of an airplane is  a sign of really living life to the fullest.

Retirement is unique in that there is nothing that comes after.  After childhood comes young adulthood, college, marriage, and raising a family.  After retirement comes death.  As depressing as that sounds it should make one realize that this is the last chance.  That trip to Africa should be done now.  the fight with your brother-in-law should be settled now.  The endless time we looked forward to in adulthood is gone.  The retirement years are a gift.  I’ll open it slowly, savoring every one..